Right Beside You
by markab
Summary: Molly Dawes is back from her first tour in Afghanistan. Sad one I'm afraid, nut hopefully you will read. R&R please peps. COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'Our Girl' or it's chararcters, they belong to the BBC.**_

_**A SAD PIECE THAT I WROTE WHILST DOING MY OTHER STORY...**_

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_**RIGHT BESIDE YOU - part 1/2**_

_**XXX **_

"I am so glad you are home Moll...You come back to me"

Molly Dawes shook her head as she walked into the cluttered living room of her parents marionette. Belinda cleared a space on the couch for her, "Sit down...I'll make you a nice cuppa..."

"I dont wont a cuppa Mum..."

Belinda hung near the door as she realised she was running out of words to say. Molly had just come back from barracks. She was fresh home from her first tour in Afghanistan, and she was just so thankful that her girl had come back home alive.

Poor Smurf. He was in the hospital in Birmingham, but he was going to be okay. The Doctors told her when she went AWOL from the section and went on ahead of them.

Well, to be fair, Dave persuaded her. Molly wasn't the one for rules and regulations.

Molly sat in her uniform and stared off into space.

"He's gonna be okay love...the Doctors said...his Mum said...I liked his Mum, she was really nice Moll...friendly...and smiley..."

Molly looked at her, "Mum, is it alright if I have a soak in the bath, I just want to go to bed"

Belinda frowned, "What is it Moll? You've been acting all strange with us since we you've come back"

Molly swallowed and stood up from the couch, she was trying to hold back the tears, "I just want to have a bath Mum...please..."

Belinda reluctantly stood aside to let her daughter heave her pack up the stairs. Dave came out from the kitchen and looked at Belinda all puzzled, "What's wrong with her...she's a flipping War Hero and she's going about with a face as long as your mothers arse!"

Belinda bit her tongue, "just leave her Dave...she's been through a lot, hasn't she...lets just give her some time..."

Dave opened a can of lager and plonked himself on the couch, "well...she better snap out of it soon...she's got a lap of the stadium to do by Friday"

Belinda tutted at him, "Oh Dave dont put pressure on her to do that...she's been fighting for her country...all she will be fighting there is your drunken footballer hooligan mates"

XXX

Molly shook her head at her parents conversation and shut the door. In the bathroom she looked into the mirror and stared back at her reflection. She still could hear the gunfire of Afghanistan if she closed her eyes hard enough, and long enough.

She was back home in London, but she felt so distant and detached from it.

She toyed with the engagement ring around her neck, she looked down at it as it sparkled on the string it was attached to. Poor Smurf, she wished she could match the feelings he had for her, but she couldn't.

She could never feel for him as she had felt for...

The pain was in her heart. She felt like she was going to collapse onto the bathroom floor because the emotional pain was so raw inside her...like it was ready to sufficate the breath out of her.

She swallowed down and tried to compose herself...so near...they had got so near...

But now they would never know.

She unlocked the bathroom door and went into the bedroom where her sister Jade was doing her homework at the desk.

"Alright Moll...Moll, remember last time when you said that girl in Afghan was my age..."

Molly shook her head as she sat on the bunkbed watching her.

Jade turned her head, pen in her mouth, "I cant believe that she aint got no iPod or Phone or Computers...she must be well bored out of her skull"

Molly couldn't believe the stupidity of her sister, "you really think that having gadgets like that are her first priority? Her first priority is staying alive you silly cow!"

"You can't talk to to me like that!"

"Yes I can! Because YOU don't know how lucky you are...", she paused and tried to stop the tears that were running down her face.

"What's up with ya? Why are you so upset?"

Molly bolted out of the room and locked herself back into the bathroom, she sat on the toilet seat and sobbed.

Sobbed for him. Sobbed for a man that she loved with all her heart. Sobbed for a man that had died of wounds that she blamed herself for.

Why couldn't she save him?

Nobody could know. Nobody could ever know about them. A Captain falling for one of his lower minions was not what the Army was all about.

Was Love stronger than Army regulation?

Yes it was...but now she was never going to know that.

She stood and stared back into the mirror, she could see his face looking back at her.

She pulled herself together. She had to put all this behind her. She had to go on that nothing happened between them..

Nothing did...just that one kiss...that one kiss that set her heart aflutter that no other man could ever do.

And in the hospital before he died, when he said that he was going to resign his commission and that nothing would stand in their way anymore.

"It did", she whispered into the mirror, "...you died"

Sniffing back the tears, she wondered how long she could keep this from her family...

She wasn't very confident that it wouldn't be for too long...

...

CONCLUDED NEXT CHAPTER...

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_**I KNOW IT IS A SAD ONE (NOT VERY FLUFFY AT ALL) BUT I WOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR A LITTLE REVIEW OR TWO...**_

_**:)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'Our Girl' or it's chararcters, they belong to the BBC.**_

_**A SAD PIECE THAT I WROTE WHILST DOING MY OTHER STORY...**_

_**XXXX**_

_**RIGHT BESIDE YOU - part 2/2**_

_**XXX **_

_**It was all in painful slow motion, the man in the burka came out of the back of the truck and started firing. It was Bashira's father.**_

_**Captain James was shot in the leg and in his side, he fell to the ground.**_

_**"Man down, Man Down!"**_

_**She looked into Bossman's eyes and he looked back into hers...**_

Molly woke up with a start and sat up rubbing her eyes. They were wet where she had cried in her sleep.

Jade looked down from the top bunk, "What's wrong with you? You were moaning in your sleep again..."

Molly rubbed her eyes and looked up at her, "Go back to sleep"

"How can I ...you keep waking me up"

"Just GO back to sleep!"

"Alright alright..."

Molly heard her sister settle back down. She laid back herself and tried to close her eyes, it was still dark.

But the day that she had dreaded all week...was dawning.

XXX

"You look smart Moll...look at you...I'm so proud of ya"

Belinda gave her daughter a hug as she stood there in her uniform best.

"It's a funeral Mum...I have to look...you now...", she trailed off.

"Who is it again...your Captain is it? Poor man...but I'm not gonna lie to you Molls...I'm glad that he got it and not you!"

Molly shook her head and squeezed her hand, "I now Mum...I know...dont go thinking all that again...I'm fine...I came back to ya, didn't I?"

Belinda shook her head and turned as she went to go downstairs, "did he have a family? A wife and that?"

Molly just looked into the mirror as she made sure her cap was straight and nodded back at her.

"Ohhh...his poor wife..."

Molly swallowed and held back the grief that threatened to burst out, "Yeah..._poor her_"

"Where's this funeral again?"

"Bath Mum, I told ya...now, I'm gonna have to get ready to go or I'll be late..."

She went down the stairs. Dave came to Belindas side, "She still moping about? She should be grateful that she came home alive"

"I fink she knows that Dave..."

"At the end of the day it was just some toffee- nosed Captain who got it...not the real fighters like her..."

Molly stood at the base of the stairs and closed her eyes. If only he knew...if only he knew.

XXX

The funeral was long and it was hard. Molly sat there and she tried to compose herself as much as she could. She swallowed and looked over at the coffin that sat on the trestles, draped in a union flag.

There stood in front of the congregation, was Captain James's Commanding Officer. He was churning on and on about what a great man he was, a War Hero...such an inspiration to those who served under him.

He had been such an inspiration for her.

She closed her eyes and thought about him as the Commanding Officer went on and on.

_He followed her into his quarters and they sat and talked about big old houses and watching the Omen and what a magical place his parents house looked like at Christmas._

_And he invited her._

_His eyes held hers like someone hypnotizing her. She remembered when he wrote on her arm the name of coffee he liked to drink to start very morning._

_Rosabaya._

_His smiling face...his 'come back to me' words._

The tear rolled down her face as the curtain went across and started to obscure the coffin. It was the end. It was the end of them...but then again it hadn't really had the chance to begin.

Outside the mourners hung about in the Spring warmth, but it was dull and it was cloudy...it set the mood nicely.

Molly stood with her fellow section members, all of them just as glum looking how she looked...and felt.

No, they couldn't be feeling how she felt, like the her heart being ripped out of her.

No one could know her grief.

That cow over there

Rebecca.

Look at her crying onto that man's shoulder. It was probably her father. She is dressed all in black and playing the grieving widow.

But then again, she is his Ex-Wife, she had that right didn't she?

Her eyes met Rebecca's as she looked at her. They were knowing...like 'I know' what you and him were together.

She could ruin her.

End her career, get her discharged from the Army because she had the hint that her Ex-Husband was seeing someone under his command.

Molly turned around. It was time to go.

Smurf was beside her, "Moll...are you okay? I've been wanting to ask ya...but it's a bit awkward with half the section around us all the time"

She gave him a heartfelt smile, "Thanks Smurf...I dont deserve you..."

"Shut your cake hole...you and I are the best of mates remember...dont you ever forget that"

Molly shook her head as the sun came out from behind a cloud and the spire of the Crematoria cast a shadow over them.

The rest of the section was heading away, they lagged behind. The Captain's family were at the gates talking to mourners, she couldn't face that.

Rebecca turned and saw her wanting to swerve. She grabbed Molly's arm. Her eyes looking into hers.

Molly looked down and saw the .Little Sam from the hospital. Molly felt choked up, she looked at Rebecca, "I'm sorry for your loss..."

Rebecca considered her for a few seconds then nodded, "Ditto..."

Molly met her gaze and the two woman had an understanding. Rebecca then broke the gaze and went to shake somebody's hand. Molly turned and with a hint of a sad smile she walked down the gravel path towards the Carpark where Smurf was waiting for her.

"Hey, the team want to meet in the pub across the road for a few drinks and some shared memories...fancy it..."

"Why not..."

Smurf went to turn when Molly stopped him, "...Smurf...about Vegas"

He turned, "You still want to come..."

Molly shrugged, "I dont know what I want at the moment Smurf...just that I know I want to get away from here..."

"I'll help you through it Molls..."

"Fanks...because you are the only one I can talk to about him...and I know it's hard for ya"

"You can pour your heart out all the way to Vegas if you want"

Molly closed her eyes and burst into tears, "It hurts so much Smurf...I miss him...I miss what me and him could have had...I feel like I am being suffocated and I can't breathe"

Smurf held her and he let her cry on his shoulder and he stroked her back tenderly, "you have to let it all out Moll...let it all out girl...only then...you can start move on..."

THE END

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_**Reviews are welcomed as always. I know it was a sad one, but I wanted to write it because, lets face it, it did look like it was going to go that way at the end of Episode 4!**_

_**Thanks for reading. If Inspiration allows, I will write more...no inspiration at the moment though!**_

_**Thanks again.**_

_**M**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'Our Girl' or it's chararcters, they belong to the BBC.**_

_**Some lovely reviews again. Thank you.**_

_**XXXX**_

_**Just another little Chapter...:)**_

"So...are you sure about this Moll? Are you ready to go back out there?"

Belinda watched her daughter pack up her stuff, "Life goes on Mum...I just 'ave to get on with it"

Belinda sat on the bed, "So what about Smurf? He's not gonna be going anywhere in a hurry is he? Not with that arm and that..."

Molly turned to her, "Mum, Smurf'll be fine, yes he's got some psychological problems, but who hasn't, especially in this house!"

Belinda sighed and stood up, "I'm not gonna be able to stop you at all am I...I'll go and finish making tea"

Molly watched her Mum go back down the stairs, and sat on the bed. She toyed with the string around her neck that had Smurf's engagement ring looped through it.

Poor Smurf...

Sometimes she thought about what he said. How things could have been different between them if he had called her the following day. Molly smiled to herself, Smurf was sweet in his own little way.

She pressed on with packing up her stuff and went downstairs to join her family for tea. Jade banged on about some boy at school, while Dave went on and on about her not doing a lap around West Ham football stadium.

Molly reached over and grabbed his hand, they looked at one another and she said, "It just dont feel right at the moment Dad...maybe next time, yeah?"

Dave relented and shook his head.

Molly turned to Jade and pointed her fork at her, "and you should forget about boys and get on with your schoolwork and that...I want you to do better than wot I did...boys can wait...anyway, they just break your heart in the end"

Nan glanced at her, she had the expression that she was thinking about what she had said. Belinda pointed to Mollys plate, "come on...eat up Molls...you need to gather your strength and that if you are gonna be leaving us again..."

Molly smiled across the table to her Mum, "fanks Mum...but I am coming back you know..."

Belinda looked troubled, she had been dreading this, "yeah...you make sure you do"

XXX

As Molly leaned on the balcony outside in the cool night air, Nan came out for a cigarette and joined her at the railing. She exhaled and nodded towards the half built posh apartments across the way, "What I would do to own one of them gaffs across the way Molls"

Molly pulled a face, "Yeah right...you still have look down at this shithole when you look out of the window Nan"

Nan shrugged, "Well...you can't have everything can you..."

Molly shrugged.

Nan inhaled and turned, "So...this Captain bloke whose Funeral you went to..."

Molly met her gaze, "Wot about him?"

"Special was he?"

Molly shrugged, "He was a good boss yeah...the best"

"Pull the other one"

Molly tried to laugh off where this conversation was heading, "Nan! He woz just my Boss...I'll have another one when I get back out there"

"But it wont be him"

Molly turned away, Nan carried on, "You can laugh and joke it off all you like Molls...but you can't hide it from me...", she paused then came out with it, "...I've worked it out...why you have to get away and that...why you are so sad and go off into deep fought"

Molly closed her eyes.

"...it's not that Smurf boy you are into...it was _him_ wasn't it? It was him...you were in love with..."

Molly tried to fight the tears, "I'm dying inside Nan..."

She turned and Nan held her arms out so she could embrace her, "I didn't mean to fall for him...but I did...and it was all wrong I know...for him and for me..."

Nan stroked Molly's hair, "you can't get him out of your head?"

Molly swallowed down the lump in her throat and looked up at her, tears rolled down her cheeks, "I can't get his face out of my head Nan...I want to forget because if I do then I wont feel like what I am feeling...I just can't get his face out of my head..."

And she sobbed her heart out till there was no more tears to shed.

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_**Might be more...**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'Our Girl' or it's characters, they belong to the BBC.**_

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_**4/10**_

In her uniform Molly lifted her pack off from the bunk and heaved it over her shoulder. She was all set.

It was only a three-month tour she was going on. Something short. Something to heel her aching heart for the dead Captain she was still in love with.

She was off to mentor Afghan Medics. Something to get her teeth into. And to take her mind of him.

And off course that little other person that haunted her mind also...Bashira. She needed to know if that little girl was safe.

Kaseem would tell her, he had to. She trusted him to make sure that Bashira would be safe and out of harms way, but only with the knowledge of that wasn't enough for her...she needed to see if the girl was safe herself, with her own eyes.

Belinda was in her dressing gown as she looked out of the bedroom window and pulled the curtain across. She had heard Molly get up early. Molly had told them all the night before that she didn't want any sad goodbyes on the doorstep in the morning, all what was said was had been said the night before.

Dave looked at her from the bed, "Is that her...?"

She nodded back at him with her hand over her mouth.

"She be okay Bel...she will"

Belinda fought back the tears and nodded. She hoped so...she hoped to dear god that her daughter would come back home to her again.

Alive and not in a box.

XXX

Molly arrived at Brize Norton and checked in. She handed over her passport and turned when somebody was calling over to her.

She turned her head to see it was Chris Tinker. She had trained with him. She managed a smile, "Alright Stinker...I didn't know you were gonna be here!"

Tinker heaved his pack over to her, "Nearly didn't make it Dawes...I went out last night in Hull and only just got ruddy train back down here!"

"Well you do look a bit worse for where...good night was it?"

Tinker shrugged, "Yeah..."

They went out outside and dumped their packs. Then side by side made their way to the plane. "You know who've we got dont ya lass? Captain Hedges...he were a right pain in the backside during my last tour"

Molly frowned, "I never saw you out there...what section were you attached to?"

"Four"

Everyone gathered up in a group as the Captain addressed them. Molly kep having flashbacks of Captain James standing there before them

_Mustn't think about him...he's gone and he's never coming back...must move on_

XXX

Swapping rainy Britain for the deserts of Afghanistan didn't come as a shock anymore because unlike last time she knew what to expect.

Jackie was packing up her stuff when Molly was unpacking, "I can't believe you came back! You must be mad"

Molly laughed, "I training Afghan Medics...it just feels so right"

Jackie sat and looked at her, "I heard that Captain James died of his injuries..."

Molly shrugged it off, "Well...that's what we are here for isn't it...it's the risk we take when we go down this path..."

Jackie looked at her, "I could tell..."

Mollys sat on her bunk and shook her head, "He was a good boss...I'm sure Hedges will be the same..."

"It was your name he was moaning...when he was in the helicopter"

Molly swallowed, "well...it was...well...I tried to save him, didn't I...I woz probably the last face he saw"

Jackie knew, but didn't push it, "you take care of yourself out here"

Molly breezed out a chuckle, "It's you who needs the luck Jackie...careful in Nuneaton yeah!"

They laughed and with a quick parting hug, Jackie was on her way.

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**_A/N: Thanks for the messages on my PM. As I've said to those who asked, Molly Dawes is getting Married has been abandoned - In my opinion it was shit and stopped before too much more was written. This one is sad but there has more scope for storyline - M._**


	5. Chapter 5

_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'Our Girl' or it's characters, they belong to the BBC.**_

_**Some lovely reviews again. Thank you. HOPE YOU LIKE THIS.**_

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It was 4 weeks into her second deployment to Afghanistan. Molly held her weapon close to her chest as she crawled after Stinker ahead of her, she could taste desert dust in her mouth.

They had been fired at all of a sudden. The gunshots had come out from nowhere, except from the mound that was head of them.

Molly could feel...no she could _hear _her heart beating in her eardrums. Stinker had his finger to his lips to hush her when she was about to ask him if he could see anything.

He crept ever so slowly forward, the dust and shit from the ground clinging to his garb. Molly just wanted to sink and hide into hers.

Stinker had his weapon trained on the mound. There didn't seem to be any sign of life at all, but then again, that was how it was just now before they were shot at.

He looked at her and shrugged.

She frowned and started to crawl forward towards him...but then the gunshots evaded her ears.

Stinker seemed to shake about in mid dance slowly as the bullets slammed into him and he went collapsing to the dirt.

Molly was open-mouthed in fear and shock. Stinker was trying to extend his hand out to her.

"run"

It was a weak warning for her.

Molly refused. She was a medic for god sake, there was no way she was going to shy away what she was trained to do.

She lifted her head to scan the area around the dirt mound. She couldn't see a thing, the sun was in her eyes. She turned and tried to put the pressure on Stinkers wounds but he seemed to be bleeding more out then she could put paid to stop.

"Man down", she breathed into her mic. She blinked away the tears so she could focus on the task in hand. Then she was shot at. She managed to dive down for cover and managed to lose grip of her weapon in the process.

The gun went skimming across the dirt. She tried to reach out for it, but a shadow loomed over her, she swallowed and looked up, the sun was so bright that she could only see his outline, but the outline was pointing a gun straight at her.

He said something. Afghan. She couldn't understand a word of it.

And then he fired.

_it was all a blur. She could taste the blood. The hot desert sun was on her where she lay. She rolled her head to see the soldier walk over to her. British this time._

_He stood by her looking down. And he smiled at her._

_It was Captain James._

_He crouched down and he lifted her from the dirt and carried her along the desert. She was feeling like she was losing all grip of reality. He looked down at her and smiled that amazing grin of his. _

_"I miss you"_

_He didn't say a word and even her words never seemed to leave her mouth. _

_His hands had a tight grip on her, he was carrying her like she didn't weigh a thing. But she felt weightless._

_Then he stopped and placed her back down onto the dirt. She could hear voices. A helicopter. She looked into Captain James's brown eyes and he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth..._

Molly was moaning as she was lifted onto the stretcher by the medics. The helicopter was sending the dust in a whirl wind around them.

She tried to focus her eyes, but they were on random faces because she felt do weak.

And then, it went all dark and it all fell silent.

XXX

"Stinker...he didn't make it, did he?"

Molly laid in the bed in the hospital. The medic in charge named Winters nodded her head, "No...he was too far gone when we found him"

Molly looked down to the dressing on her shoulder, "He missed my chest...the guy who shot me..."

"Lucky for you he was a crap shot"

"Stinker wasn't so lucky though, was he"

Winters shrugged as she read her chart, "It does seem that luck was on your side Moll...it was as if you had a guardian angel looking over you out there"

Molly frowned, "Was it right wot I heard? That I was some distance away from where Stinker died"

"Yes...it seems you must of crawled till you lost conciousness"

Molly rolled her head to look at the frosted window. She could see the shapes out in the corridor.

"You are being transferred home Moll...your Mum and Dad have been informed on what flight you are on..."

She rolled her head back to her, "I fink it was a guardian angel that saved me...maybe this was why he had to die, because if he didn't die then, he wouldn't have been able to save me now..."

Winters looked at her all puzzled like, "What are you talking about, you are not making any sense Moll?"

She smiled, "It doesn't matter...life's just plain weird...but I fink I've been given a second chance..."

"Second chance?"

"Yeah, and I'm gonna make the most of it...this is wot I'm good at, and you know wot? I'm gonna be brilliant"

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THE END

_**AT LAST! Finally finished this story. This is my last piece for Our Girl. Thanks for those who have read my fiction you are all great.**_


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